Best Mother’s Day Present Ever
I was born on Mother’s Day, May 8, 1955. My mother was a very young mother. She and my dad were married on June 13, 1954 when she was barely 16 and I was born 12 days before her 17th birthday. She told me that she thought she knew everything about having and raising a baby and was convinced that her mother didn’t know anything.
My mother was born on May 20, 1938 in Vallejo, California to Malcolm McLeod and Anna (Annie) Agnes Anthony McLeod.
My mother had a difficult childhood (she recently told me that she could remember her father smiling only once when she was a child). My grandparents divorced (I’ll write more about my grandfather in a future post) and my grandmother was totally unprepared for raising two children completely on her own. Because of this, they moved frequently and were focused on survival. My grandmother tried to maintain an optimistic attitude.
As a child, my mother spent many summers with her cousin and her husband, Trudy and Jim Elwood. Since my grandmother was so much younger than her sister, Barbara, Trudy and Jim were more like an aunt and uncle to my mother. She loved spending summers with their family (she and their daughter remained close until my mother’s death). My mother decided that when she married, she would pattern her life after theirs.
As a young mother, my mom took her position as a housewife very seriously. In those days, there were few conveniences. Our family only had one car and one bathroom. We didn’t have a dryer so clothes, sheets, and towels were hung up outside to dry. There was no permanent press so one day a week was dedicated to ironing (when clothes that needed to be ironed came out of the washer, my mom would roll them up, put the wet clothes in a bag, and put the bag in the refrigerator until ironing day). There was no microwave, no dishwasher, and no disposable diapers.
Daily, my mom would make the beds, prepare three meals a day, wash the dishes after each meal, wipe down the bathroom (deep cleaning once a week), clear clutter, and dust and vacuum as needed. Spring cleaning was a sacred ritual.
My mother stayed busy raising me, my sister Becky who was born on February 17, 1959, and my brother Billy who was born on August 13, 1961. She was also active as a room mother, involved in PTA and girl scouts, and went to women’s Bible study weekly as well as attended church three times a week. She liked to bake, crochet, and sew. In later years, reading became a passion.
As the years progressed and we grew up, my mother decided that she wanted to focus on herself more. She always valued education and decided that she wanted to get her GED. She passed her tests and was awarded her GED on October 1, 1977.
After this accomplishment, she decided that she wanted to take some college classes. She took typing and a literature class. One of the books she read for this class was The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. She talked a lot about this book because it was something she would never have read on her own and gave her lots to think about.
She also decided that she would like to work outside of the home. Her first job was as a home health aide, then she moved on to retail and worked at Read’s Department Store which she really enjoyed. Finally, she became a bank teller which she did for years. She made many good friends and kept up with many of her customers after she retired.
My dad died unexpectedly on November 10, 1982 at the age of 52. My mother then became a very young widow at the age of 44. She was not prepared emotionally or financially for this and it was a very difficult time for her.
As she worked through her grief, she met Ralph Bernal and married him on January 12, 1984.
Another surprise was in store for her. My mother then became a much older mother. My youngest sister, Angelina, was born on October 4, 1987 when my mother was 49. Being an older mother had its own set of challenges but my mother was convinced it kept her young and gave her a new purpose in life.
My mother had many phases in her life. She experienced many challenges and periods of unhappiness, but she also overcame many of those challenges and found happiness and peace. Unfortunately, she struggled with many health issues at the end of her life, but she left a legacy through her children and grandchildren.
My mother’s focus was always on family, church, and community. She was a “people person” and enjoyed her connections.
